Don't Ever Meddle With Emily's Heart
by BellaNoir
Summary: Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard. Can they go back to the start?
1. Bruised and Bloody

It started with a bench.

She wasn't sure why she had allowed her feet to drag her here, to this place. Their place. After a year of avoiding it. But after the consumption of a litre of vodka straight from the bottle she felt no sense of control. She never did anymore. So here she was, fully equipt with a fresh bottle of liqor and a piece of paper hanging delicatly between her fingers.

" i don't know why im here .. " she let out a dry laugh sinking further down into the rough wooden bench, feeling pieces of stray wood drag harshly against her bare legs as her body slumped lifelessly.

Dipping her head back she stared up at the sky, black. Her wide blue eyes trailed lazily around the width of the sky that appeared in her view, it was nice. Pitch black, illuminated with the odd scatter of star clusters.

Her eyes finally settled on a stray one, one that was standing boldly alone. Despite the absense of the light from others it some how managed to catch her eye, hold her attention. It wasn't because it was the brightest star, or the biggest. There was just something about it that made her stare, made it imposible to look away. Just like the first time she laid eyes on_ her._

" im lost, em. " the strain in her voice made her cringe. Inhaling a shaky breath she blinked hard. She allowed it. Allowed the stray tear to stroll slowly down her cheek. She hadn't cried since it happened. She had forgoten how too. Between the lines of abusing alcohol and drugs on a daily basis and the countless one night stands, she'd forgoten. Forgoten how to feel.

" i saw katiekins the other day " She let her eyes remain closed, loosing herself in thought. Enjoying the feeling of the cold breeze washing over her barely clothed skin, it probably wasn't the best choice of clothing, a thin vest top, short black skirt and tights covered in gaping holes. collateral damage of lastnights shag. But it made do.

" she didn't look at me, i don't think she could bring herself too " Licking her dry lips she brought the vodka bottle she was nursing carefully in her left hand to her lips, wrapping her long slender fingers around the rim taking sevral large gulps, enduring the burning sensation in her throat with a fleeting tongue. Letting the bottle rest on the bench next to her once more.

"i don't blame her you know, for not wanting to talk to me. I think she still blames me, for what happened.. they all blame me, i blame me. Fuck .. of course i blame me" It had been a year, a year since Emily had left, since _her _Emily became her own person again. Since Naomi realised that Emily wasn't _her _Emily anymore.

They had all fallen away from her one by one, First Emily, then Katie, JJ , Pandora. Because it was her fault Emily left wasn't it? Her fault she had fled to Italy. Her fault for cheating on her, her fault for Emily loosing herself, her fault for chasing her back into the shell she'd worked so hard on pulling her out of.

Effy had stayed, held Naomi's body close to her own on countless nights, hushed her to sleep in the safety of her thin arms. Shared her vodka, shared her spliff's. Shared herself. She didn't turn her back on her because Effy knew. She knew what it was like to fuck things up, to make mistakes, to let people down because afterall were all only human. She knew what it was like to live a little harder than other people, She knew what it was like to loose. To be lost. But most importantly, she knew what it was like to change, and that although everything might seem shattered, it dosen't mean it's completely broken. She didn't belive _they_ were completely broken. Only learning.

And then there was Cook, he was there when he needed to be. It was funny Naomi thought, how he knew when she needed him, and how he knew when to piss off without the slightest word passing her lips. It was nice sometimes, having him around. He'd stay the nights Effy didn't, he'd call her blondie because he knew it was the only thing he seemed to be able to do in order to see the hint of a smile crack her lips, he'd attempt to pull conversation out of her, failing of course. Because she didn't find the reason to talk anymore, she'd forgoten how to like she'd fogoten everything else. His questions were answered by simple nods, and he was fine with that, he accepted that she didn't talk, he didn't question it, because he like Effy knew that nothings ever perfect. But given time, things aren't always so bad.

" How was goa? " Naomi had given Emily the tickets right before she left, because in all honesty. She couldn't bring herself to go alone, Goa was there thing. Not hers. And if she wasn't going with Emily, then she wasn't going at all. She'd found out Emily had gone with a friend. Friend, at least that's how Naomi had decided to hear it. She couldn't bare the thought of anyone else touching Emily, tracing lazy patterns on her soft stomach, feeling her warm breath against the crook of their neck as she slipped off into a deep sleep, the way her husky voice sounded thick with sleep in the mornings as she pleaded for ' ten more minutes in bed ', the way her body trembled as her lips grazed the spot just behind her ear. She couldn't bare the thought of anyone admiring the little things about her she'd spent years discovering herself. Like the way her nose scrunched up when she was deep in thought, or the way her lips parted slightly when she was listening intently to something, or how her finger trailed repetedly across the underside of her chin when she was concentrating. Naomi had learned these things not by choice but by observing her for so long, the traits had imprinted themselves firmly on her mind. Why couldn't she forget those like she'd forgoten how to do things for herself?

" I went to London for a bit " She reached into her pocket withdrawing a packet of cigarettes reaching in she pryed one from the pack with a shaky hand, placing it between her lips lighting the end before shoving the packet back into her pocket.

She'd gone to London for a few weeks, alone. She had gone in hopes of clearing her mind, fixing out her thoughts. But as she suspected, being in a big town, surrounded in unfamiliar faces had only left her crippled with loneliness. It was an old familiar feeling. One she used to call her best friend. She spent most of the time in the room, hiding under the safety of her duvet only surfacing when she needed to eat, or wash. Honestly, she didn't do much of either. Lost the reason too.

Taking a long drag of her fag she wrapped two slender fingers round the butt of it. She'd gotten much skinnier, too skinny. Skinny to the point of Effy of all people nagging her to eat. 'please eat something' , 'naoms i haven't seen you eat in days' she knew she probably should try and eat something, its not that she was doing it on purpose, she was just too caught up in thought most of the time , like everything else , she forgot.

Finally letting her eyes flutter open after what felt like hours she let her gaze focus on the star once more, her eyes were drained. She used to take pride in her eyes, compliments flew from everywhere, they were so blue, so intense, so passionate. They had now been reduced to nothing. They were dull, on most occasions blood shot from smoking spliff, rimmed with tears threatening to fall, however they never did. But even to her own surprise they had lost their sparkle, the one that shone bright every time Emily used to appear in her vision. But she was gone, she had stolen her sparkle. She deserved it.

" This is my fault, i know that. i deserve this, but .. " Letting her eyebrows knot together tightly she stared down at the burnt out fag perched between her two fingers , tossing it aside she brought her hand up to wipe away the unfamilair feeling of dampness from under her eyes, sniffling slightly.

" I didn't want to let you down, b-but you let me down .. " Wrapping her hand back around the bottle of vodka she gripped it tightly, her knuckles turning an odd shade of white from the intensity of her grip.

" You took me away from being me and made it all about being us, that's when i lost it ems, that's when i lost me. i did't know what to do, i'd only just found myself then i watched it, i watched as i let myself slip through my fingers and become a shadow, a shadow in our relationship" Bringing the bottle to her lips again she took a few large gulps of the vodka, placing it back down beside her, her fingers fidgeting with the piece of paper hanging limply in her right hand.

Sniffling slightly she inhaled a calm breath, drying her tears one last time before reaching into her pocket withdrawing the contents of it, her escape.

" Im going away for a bit, there's nothing left for me here anymore y'know .. " She smiled softly, letting her eyes scan the area surrounding her, it's peaceful. Content, just how she remembered it to be the first time she and Emily had discovered it. Tracing her finger delicatly along the surfface of the bench she felt her fingertips dip into the engravement just under her leg. A small smile tugging at the corners of her lips ' EF & NC ' enclosed in a heart . The carving still felt fresh under her fingertips, despite the fact Emily had done it a little over a year ago.

" I wrote you this letter, thought maybe you- I just wanted to let you know before i left " Her voice had reduced to a whisper, she was well aware she was talking to herself. It's not like Emily was actually there, listening to her. But she liked to pretend that maybe, somehow, she could hear her.

Her eyes scanned over the letter before gently placing it under the bottle of vodka to prevent the wind picking it up and tossing it around in it's angry journey to nowhere. She wished the wind could pick her up, take her off to nowhere.

It didn't hurt as much as she expected it would, the blade sliced easily through the soft, delicate skin of her wrists. Letting the blade drop from her blood soaked fingertips, she dipped her head back to look at the sky, her hands hanging limply on each side of her, sprawled lifelessly across the harsh material of the bench. It didn't take long for things to slowly become faded, she let her eyelids flutter closed after a few moments of taking in the view of bristol one last time. So here she was, Naomi fucking campbell, ' i don't need anyone ', heart of stone Campbell. Alone, Taking her own life because for her the act of pretending she didn't need anyone just wasn't working anymore.

_I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you forever._

_Naomi._

She never really had a way with words, but after hours of crumpling up pieces of paper filled from top to bottom with words, Naomi settled for something that rested neatly between the space of two lines, it wasn't confusing, it wasn't over thought. It was simple, It screamed out loud exactly how she felt, how she'd been trying to understand for herself how she felt. That's the most Emily could drain from her now.

It ended with a bench.


	2. I'm Aware That I Let The Poor Girl Down

It dosen't matter how hard she tries to block them out, to shut off, they were there. The voices, her ears were straining to hear them, their conversations, their familliarness.

_She's going to be okay, you should probably go home and get some rest you've been here for over 24 hours._

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

_No, i'm staying, i don't want her waking up alone._

Feeling something trailing over the back of her hand Naomi flinched slightly. Stop it, stop touching me.

It had ended with a bench. It was supposed to end with a bench. With their bench. Why hadn't it ended? Naomi tried hard to force her heavy eyelids open, she was trying. She wanted answers, Where was she? Why wasn't she where she had intended to be. Surrounded in blackness, surrounded in nothing. And this time not metophorically, literally.

It wasn't blackness, there was nothing black about the irritating light seeping in under the slit of her closed eyes. There were colours, flashes of red. Red, just like she had remembered after pressing the blade deep into the delicate skin of her wrists.

Red. It was lots of things, red. It's the colour of blood, fire. It's the symbolic colour of Strength, Power, Determination. These were few of the many things Naomi felt. Red. It meant Passion, it meant Desire, it symbolised Love. Each of these reminded her why she was drawn to it. Red, Emily's hair colour, the vibrant locks Naomi used to spend hours brushing her fingertips through, the colour she searched for first when she entered a room, because Emily was Red. That was the main reason she favoured it.

It caught in her throat, the soft groan she wanted to let escape her lips. Her body was lifeless, almost in a state of paralysis. She wanted to scream, be heard. Yet remain quiet, continue to suffer in silence.

Light, so much of it. Her wide blue eyes finally managed to push themselves open, not as full as she'd have liked, they still hung heavy, hooding the dull colour the ice blue had been reduded to. But they were open, it would do. Inhaling a deep breath she stared ahead at the painfully white wall directly infront of her gaze.

" Naomi .. " Effy. She was aware of the girls presence, sensing how she instantly alerted herself the moment Naomi's eyes had flickered open.

She didn't reply. Couldn't find her voice. She was just, observing. Of all people Effy would understand that. Letting her eyes flicker down her body, the pale white gown she had been dressed in, the tubes hooked up to manchines which had been entered into the skin of her arm and her hand by needles. Typically the thought would have sent shivers through her, not now. Her eyes finally settled on her wrists, the bandages wrapped tighly around them, white. Enabeling the perfect view of the blood stains on the undersides of them.

" Cooks' just nipped out for a fag, tosser can't handle five minutes " Effy mused, reaching her ice cold hand over to place it ontop of Naomi's. She cared, Effy. She actually fucking cared, But Naomi couldn't handle it, it was just a constant reminder that Emily had been right.

_You don't want anyone to care._

She didn't want anyone to care. What was the point in caring for other people? She tried it, it had been nice at first, really fucking lovely. But in the end she'd been reduced to nothing, she was like a little puppet dancing to the rhythem of someone elses timing, someone elses beats. She'd lost herself in someone else.

She can hear his voice echoing in her mind, the same thing plays like a broken record all day, every day.  
_  
The thing is Naomi, you splash about, other people get wet._

She stares at the blood stains a little harder. Red. She knows now. She knows that she didn't just splash Emily. She fucking drowned her.

She thinks for a little bit more. About how when people talk about suicide they forget to mention that it isn't always a cry for help. That sometimes the person actually really does just want to fucking die. She thought about the fact that she might be one of those people.

Feeling the soft stroke of Effy's thumb trailing across the back of her hand in repetative motions. It then hit her, she hadn't stopped splashing, she was still splashing. She had been so caught up in her own problems she hadn't took the time to notice anyone elses, notice the pain she was inflicting on her friends, the ones who had stuck by her.

Tilting her head so her cheek was pressed against the pillow she let her eyes flicker over Effy's form, her blank expression softening after a few moments. There she was. Effy. Letting a small genuine smile slip onto her lips for the first time in over a year she removed her hand from under Effy's gently taking it in her grip giving it a light squeeze.

" Hi " her hoarse voice croaked. She could talk. She remembered.

She watched the intensity burn in Effy's eyes, watched how she leaned in placing a small delicate kiss onto her forehead, watched as she nodded. She understood.

" It's just as liberating to be found as it is to be lost " Effy cooed.

Naomi knew this wasn't the end, she knew it wasn't the beginning either. But she liked to believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel, only this time the light wasn't shimmered with the warmth of the Red sun. No, this time it was white. Fresh.


	3. Now I'm Dying As A Message To The Town

Swish, Swoosh. S'cuse me. S'cuse me. Bang. There's always been a sense of stability for her. Walking aimlessly through the town center. People buzzing past, scurring off in opposite directions, deciding that it's okay to to push and shove, because asking politely just isn't an option.

It was the people she liked most. They were the kind of people who didn't tiptoe around hesitant to pass someone else incase they hit them, hurt them. No they were the kind of people who were out for themselves, they pushed, and they didn't stop pushing until they had reached the place they wanted to be. That's what she liked most.

It was Effy's idea, that she should get out the house for a bit. Do some exploring around her old familiar routes. She made a mental note in her head to thank her once she got back to their flat. Their flat. Once Naomi's mum had returned for her trip around the world with Kieran, Naomi had decided that it was just too much. With Naomi, Effy and Cook as well as Gina and Kieran. Naomi felt like she'd been dragged back into her teenage years of comunual living. So they decided, Cook and her. That they should get their own flat. It wasn't anything special, three reasonably sized bedrooms, which suited Naomi fine concidering that's where she spent most of her time nowadays.

_U alright blondie? Were just headin out for some coffee, come meet us at Baristas when ur done yer_? muchos love, the cookiemonsta x

Smiling softly at his text she exhaled softly stuffing her phone away back into the pocket of her jacket, her fingertips playing shyly with the ends of her sleves. It had been five weeks since she had been discharged from the hospital, the deep scars that ran verticaly from the beginning of her wrist til about three inches up her arm were still highly visable. They always would be though wouldn't they. For the first four weeks she never wore anything that didn't have long sleves, she couldn't. Didn't want people seeing her pain, she could hide it on the inside , but the scars were just there, shoving all her emotions straight into the face of the person who was looking at them. They showed her weakness.

They had made her see someone, the doctors. Said they didn't deal with things in this area, all they were good for was putting her back together, physically. While her Psychologist was there in hopes of putting her back together, mentally. Noones ever really 'together' though are they? everyones a little bit fucked in the head, there's no fixing that.

She was an older woman. Naomi guessed in her late fourties. Dark brown hair which was always neatly pinned up, the occasional curl falling loosly round her face. Intense green eyes, so intense that Naomi could have swore she could see straight through her. Her wardrobe consisted of only tight black pencil skirts, and shockingly bright coloured blouses. She peered over her thick black rimmed glasses as Naomi spoke, hummed and hawed as if she understood. She didn't.

She had gotten much thinner, food had somehow lost it's idea of being a naccesity to her. So day by day she watched how the skin covering her bones seemed to grow tighter around them, bones protruded from her ribs, her clavical area would be the envy of any model. Her elbows were thicker than both her upper and lower arm and her cheeks had slowly began to sink inwards. It first hit her when she realised she could fit into effy's jeans, and still the waistband failed to hug her tiny hips.

It had been at least a solid 45 minutes she'd been sitting here for, watching people pass her, loosing herself in her own thoughts. It was cold, the crisp air nipped the tips of her ears which were only covered by her blonde curls, which were now a little below shoulder length. It deffinatly had grew quite a bit. Slipping her hands into the pockets of her grey trench coat she slowly pushed to her feet making her way back towards the center of the city, to the cafe.

Watching the warmth of her breath contrast against the bitter cool of the air her eyes focused on the little puffs of clouds that appeared everytime she exhaled. Reminded her of of smoke, and how she had forgoten to buy fags.

Feeling the rain begin to trickle from the sky, she tilted her head back slightly, welcoming the raindrops access to her face. She liked the rain, liked how it had the ability to make everyone scamper off for shelter, make everyone complain. When really, it wasn't really doing any harm. It was only a little bit of water.

"... Naomi?" She could hear it, the voice cooing her name. But she was having trouble deciding if it was real or all just in her mind. " Naomi .. " and again " oh for fucks sakes campbell snap out of it yeah?" real.

Titling her head back down she felt her eyes trail lazily over the figure infront of her, tiny, arms wrapped tightly around her half naked frame in an attempt to shelter her from the rain. Katie fucking Fitch. Allowing her lips to part slightly she couldn't find the words to- they caught in her throat. Taking in her apperance once more she cocked her eyebrows up, she looked nice. Much better than Naomi had remembered. She'd ditched the animal print and was dressed in a long sleved white lace shirt, a tight black pencil skirt with a wide patent leather belt that was purposely pulled in just a little too tight in order to accentuate her waist, and of course, a pair of black killer heels. Because lets face it, no one really changes that much.

" Jesus christ, im up here you tit " Naomi's eyes flickered up to Katie's expectant face before watching a smile tug at her red shiny lips.  
" Still a big ole' lezzer i see " Katie's voice cooed, all in good humour much to Naomi's surprise.  
" You know how it is Katiekins, can't teach an old dog new tricks " Her voice crackled slightly, causing her to mentally kick herself.

Now it was Katie's turn to observe her, she watched her. Watched as her eyes flickered over her face, then down over her frail body that was drowned out by her coat. Licking her lips she instinctivly wrapped her arms protectivly around her torso wishing she'd stop staring. Finally she was met by Katie's wide brown eyes, only this time they were filled with nothing but concern.

" Jesus .. Naomi .. " Her voice just above a whisper, reaching up she slid her hand through her own mess of dark curls.  
" I better get going, I've got to- " Cut off by Katie's stammering voice she pursed her lips together.  
" I'm having a party tonight, you should- you should come " Katie stared up at her, reaching into her bag she pulled out a card and a pen, sribbling down her number and the address before handing it to Naomi.  
"Katie i don't think thats a good id-"  
" Please, You can bring whoever you want " She nodded eagerly, shoving the pen back into her bag before letting her arms wrap around herself once more.

Glancing at the card perched between her fingers she weighed up her options, she could stay in again, sulking in her room. Or she could go, Katie wanted her to go. For whatever fucked up reason that was, she didn't care. Katie wanted her to go. But what if -

"She's not going to be there" Katie interupted her thoughts with a soft voice. Her eyes flickering down towards the ground which was now completely soaked from the rain.

"Just us and some old friends, it'll be a right laugh, like old times yeah?" She grinned widely before glancing at her watch.  
" Look i've got to run babes but come yeah?, i want you there, they'd want you there .. we miss you y'know Campbell" She looked genuine, waiting for Naomi to nod slowly before dashing off into the crowd of people.

Naomi lost sight of her after a few moments, staring back down at the card before shoving it in her pocket. Katie fucking Fitch, who'd have thought eh?


	4. This What Happens When You Fuck Around

thankyou for the feedback and stuff  
i'm not really sure how this is doing  
so some reviews would be greatly appreicated  
just to lemme know .. y'know (-:

* * *

It took a shit load of convicing. Part of her silently hated herself for informing Effy of her run in with Katie. Another part of her hated the fact she had willingly handed over the card she'd been given from Katie that held all the details on it to Cook. But all the same the biggest part of her was thankful for their persistance.

" would you hurry your little fucking arse up blondie, were gonna be late" Cook wandered into her room, swigging back a can of fosters. Letting out an obnoxiously loud burp as he passed her.  
" And if i remember correctly, as much as dear katiekins dosen't mind late cumming-"

Naomi lifted her gaze up from coating her lips. Rubbing them together to spread the deep shade of crimson red lipstick across the spots she'd missed.  
" I'm sure you mean your late_ cumming _, not hers "  
Rolling her eyes she grabbed a few hair pins slipping them between her lips gripping them with her teeth. She'd decided on pinning some of her white blonde curls back off her face.

" Marilyn Monroe eat your heart out love " Cook chirped from behind her placing a hand on her shoulder staring at her in the mirror with a smirk playing on his lips. Naomi's eyes scanned over her apperance, for the first time in forever she could actually admit she looked not bad. If cooks face didn't already confirm that.

Her long slender fingers reached down tugging at the bottom of the short, backless dress she'd found at the back of her wardrobe. It wasn't anything special, plain black, tight fitted. But there was no denying it's ability to accentuate the length of her long legs. It'd do.

Two hours and two bottles of white wine later they had finally arrived. Naomi's eyes lazily scanned the house infront of her. She found something oddly comforting in standing outside the door seventeen year old Naomi used to knock on almost every day. She let her lips curl upwards after a few moments spotting the cat flap.

_"can't we just stay like this? just for a bit "  
"yeah we can ... for a bit "_She hadn't even noticed she'd been daydreaming until a very drunk effy slipped her arm around her waist giving her hip a reassuring squeeze " c'mon kid, lets go raid the fridge for something a little stronger "

And it was as simple as that, Effy, a bottle of vodka and old friends remincing on the past. That's when she first felt it, that unfamiliar feeling creeping up inside her. Happiness. They were all there, from Pandora who had been all over Effy like a rash since she'd arrived, to JJ who was curled up comfortably on the sofa with a blonde girl. Who Naomi had later learned was his girlfriend Lara. Each of them two years older, two years wiser and two years more forgiving.

" Enjoying yourself then? " Katie plopped down onto the floor next to her handing her a glass of Jack daniels and coke. Because there were just some things people could never forget. Naomi stared down at the glass allowing a smile to tug at her lips.  
" fucks sakes campbell don't get all smooshy on me now yeah? it's only a drink" she let out a soft chuckle to which Naomi instantly detected was very much a drunk chuckle.  
"Oh but it's so much more than just a drink Katie, if i didn't know any better i'd say you paid more attention to me back then than you let on eh? "Naomi joined in with a few giggles nudging the shorter girl next to her playfully.  
" Fuck off " Katie grinned.

It didn't take long for the party to die off. That was another thing Naomi had learned, her friends still hadn't mastered the art of pacing their drinking speed. Most of them were floored by midnight. Struggling to her feet she wandered over to the sofa grabbing a blanket off the back of it, using it to cover Effy who'd passed out first. Smiling softly she brushed some hair off her face earning a soft snore in return. Thomas and Pandora were sprawled out on the floor tangled up in each other, JJ had left with Lara pretty early, something about a baby. She'd ask later, on a more sober mind. Cook has fucked off with some girl who'd been there, no surprises there.

That left the two of them. Naomi who was still more than awake and a profoundly drunk, wobbly on her feet Katie.  
" More wine Madame?" Naomi asked with a grin pouring some into two glasses, not bothering to tilt it upwards as she moved from the first glass to the second. Her eyes falling on the puddle of wine on the counter, letting out a series of uncontrollable giggles.  
" Spillage on isle twoooooooooooo" she bellowed, attracting a stumbling Katie who simply dipped her head letting her tongue mop up the mess on the counter.  
"Clean" she giggled grabbing onto Naomi's arm to steady herself.

Letting a soft smile crack her lips she placed a supportive hand on the small of Katie's back.  
"Me thinky you need your bed more so than more wine" she nodded more so to herself.  
"Me thinky your right" Katie agreed rubbing her own forehead blinking hard.  
"You can crash in my room" she added softly before grabbing Naomi's hand leading the way not giving her much choice.

Leaning against the door frame Naomi let her eyes wander the room. The room she used to spend days on end in. Snuggled up in the arms of her little red head. Letting her lips part slightly she studied it, the posters, the bed sheets. It hadn't changed at all, Everything on Emily's side had remained the same, everything still in place the way she had left it.

Soft snores broke her train of thoughts, Her eyes snapped to Katie who had passed out on her bed. Fully clothed, still sporting a ridiculously high pair of heels. Wandering further into the room she grabbed a spare blanket, throwing it over the small curled up figure on the bed, taking off her heels placing them beside the bed before glancing around again. Emily's bed. Licking her lips she hesitantly wandered over running her hand delicatly over the pillow, then down along the bed sheets. She could feel the faint smell of Emily's old perfume creep up her nostrils filling her stomach with a warm feeling. The warm feeling she used to concider home.

Perching herself carefully on the bed she kicked off her shoes staring over at the bedside table, plucking up two photo frames, one of the gang huddled up tight, arms wrapped around each other, each of them sporting a massive genuine toothy smile. Because despite the problems they were all facing at that time and place, they didn't matter because they had each other. Naomi remembered.

The second photo frame contained an image of a younger Naomi, her arms wrapped protectivly around Emily from behind, her eyes shone brightly as Emily placed a tender kiss onto her cheek. Her smile was wide, she looked carefree, happy. But there was something else Naomi noticed about the figures in the photo. Not only did they now feel like strangers she noticed something more imortant than that. They were in love. She had felt love. She had loved, she had been loved. And that's what screamed out louder than anything from the photo. The feelings they had once shared which now felt like they had never existed.

" Hi " Emily's voice cooed huskily.


	5. And Meddle If You Want Trouble

Two years. Two years since she'd heard her voice. The voice that used to lull her to sleep for the most part of her college years. It hadn't changed, the sexy husk still rolled off her tongue fluently Naomi thought. Two years. Two years, the amount of time she had to prepare herself for this moment. But just like that, that simple two lettered word had floored her. She felt like someone had punched her straight in the stomach, Emily.

She couldn't tear her eyes away, they quickly scanned the image infront of her. Not daring to blink in fear that if she did Emily would dissapear as quickly as she had come. She couldn't bare that. Not again.

_"i'm leaving, this-it's just not working for me, my feelings have changed i-"  
"okay"_The scene replayed in Naomi's head endlessly, the sound of Emily's forceful voice informing her she'd given up, the weakness of her own voice because she was right, she'd fought endlessly for her forgiveness. But when it came down to it, it just wasn't enough. She had drowned Emily, leading her into a lifestyle of drink, drugs and one night stands. But she had drowned herself too. She had drowned herself by sitting back helplessly, watching her little red plumit to rock bottom, she hadn't fought hard enough. She knew that now.

She pursed her lips firmly together, fearful that if she didn't Emily would be able to see the evident quiver of her bottom lip. She'd changed. Emily. Her soft features had matured, but they were equally as delicate as Naomi remembered. Like her little button nose that Naomi loved to place loving kisses onto, or poke which would result in her scrunching it up and giving Naomi a playful slap. Her wide brown chocolate orbs which intecated to Naomi every single emotion Emily could muster up. When she was happy, they shone a warm brown colour. If they were making love they'd turn a dark shade of black- filled with passion. Or if she was sad, they'd hang heavy and dull- That's what she remembered most during the last few weeks before their break-up. The eyes that just didn't shine anymore. Her hair had been shed of the vibrant candy red and was back to the dark chocolate brown she remembered a much younger Emily sporting. It was nice Naomi thought, but it just wasn't Emily.

That's when it hit her. She didn't _know_ Emily anymore. She'd spent most of her teens learning the ins and outs of her. How she hated orange skittles, and those ridiculous 'geek glasses', because she was never one for cliche. How she loved her feet to be caccooned in the duvet before she fell asleep otherwise she'd be restless the whole night, or how her favourite book was Romeo and Juliet and how she'd read it 15 times. Okay maybe she was a bit cliche. Her favouite colour was black, her favourite film was Short Citcuit, she anything more than a drop in her cereal and she was terrified of the telletubies. Naomi hadn't learned these by choice or by force. She just discovered them along with a million other things about her.

Snapping her eyes back up into the dark brown of Emily's she let her lips part slightly trying to muster up something to say. But she couldn't. It was like the words had caught in her throat, choking her. Pushing up off the bed Naomi quickly scrambled around the floor looking for her shoes. She mentally slapped herself for getting so drunk, if she hadn't been then maybe she'd be able to handle this situation better. Maybe she'd be able to fucking say something.

" Naomi - " Feeling Emily's hand gently wrap around her wrist Naomi's eyes shot up her expression blank. Finally finding her shoes she quickly stepped into them standing up straight, her breath hitching instantly feeling how close she was to Emily.  
"S-sorry, i-i was just leaving.. sorry" She quickly stammered clenching her eyes closed for a second. For fuckes sakes, she felt like JJ back in college. Stupid cow. Gently tugging her wrist free from Emily's grasp wrapping it around her torso quickly, pressing the scarred sides of her wrists forcefully into her stomach.

She only caught a slight glimpse of Emily's shocked expression, laced with confusion and concern before she had managed to leg it out the door. She needed to get out of here, she needed to be as far away from her as possible, because if she didn't, she couldn't bare thinking of what she'd be reduced too.

It didn't take as long as she thought, getting home. Probably due to to her legging it most the way, her breath unsteady and ragged as she unlocked the door. But that didn't matter now, she was home, safe. Making her way upstairs she kicked off her shoes plopping down onto her bed. She hadn't been aware she'd been crying, or that she'd fallen asleep. Not until she felt two arms tightly wrap around her waist from behind, and the soothing warmth of Effy's breath hitting against the nape of her neck. Naomi didn't need to ask how she knew where she was, or why she was here instead of back there passed out like she should be. Because all that mattered was that she was there. And she'd be there to help re-build Naomi just like she'd been ready to do from the start.

* * *

not sure how i feel about this, but i just wanted a little more angst  
i don't reckon it's ready for rainbows and butterflies just yet  
reviews n'stuff would be more that apreciated (-:


	6. Trouble, Then You Should Meddle

She haunted her. In moments of fear. In moments of happiness. She haunted her everyday, and she haunted her everynight. She devours her thoughts in both conciousness and even during the deep intoxication of an alcohol enduced sleep. She still haunts her.

Tears wet her cheeks before she know's they are there. They drip off her chin and stain her clothes before she has the chance to catch them. It happens at night after she's consumed one to many Jd's. It happens when she's taking a long walk through the park. She never takes the time to ask herself why.

Cook takes her out clubbing practically every night. He reckons theres only one way to cheer her up, and that's by playing her wingman and getting her under as many hot girls as he can, and pouring drink down her throat. But it never works, it only ends up being a quick shag in the toilet, the whole while all she see's is her. It's always her.

Effy knows. Know's that the although she's smiling it never quite reaches her eyes. Not anymore. Not since that night. She's thought about asking Naomi what exactly happened. But she knows that when she's ready she'll tell her. Because she always tells her.

She ignores the phonecalls and messeges from Katie. Because she's just not ready to be faced with reality. Not right now, maybe not ever.

" Were going out. " It's more a demand from Cook rather than a mere sugestion. But she goes along with it, because if she gets enjoyment out of anything anymore, it's being with Effy and Cook.

Effy scans her outfit. She notices something familiar. While she's beginning to shed the grungy image, Naomi seems to be adapting it. Her usual bright, eye catching coloured skirts shirts, and cute little ballet pumps have been stripped and replaced with a combination of ripped up tights, and over sized torn band shirts and knee high biker boots. Basically a way of saying to the world ' fuck you, i don't give a shit'. Effy likes it, but it's like looking in the mirror of her previous distressed, messed up seventeen year old self. And that, Effy dosen't like.

She enjoys it, the feeling of everyone being so packed together in the club. The feeling of hands wrapping around her waist. Sometimes their large hands, that wrap all the way around her hips, practically covering her stomach. Men. Sometimes they are smaller hands, the feeling of perk tits pressed flush up against her back and the scent of sweet perfume are a given. Women. She rarely acts on it, sometimes she allows their hands to roam. Because she forgets what it's like to feel wanted. Attention. She likes the attention.

Dipping her head back she lets her eyes flutter closed, her arms finding their way up into the air swaying slowly. She'd left Effy and Cook at the bar, finding her way onto the dance floor. Surrounded by people, it's where she feels safe. MDMA washed down with a few shots of Vodka and everything feels so much lighter, the music pounding in her ears ripples through her body feels amazing.

Feeling a pair of hands grip her hips Naomi dipped her head back further, allowing herself to push back further into the owner of the hands sliding across her stomach pulling her her towards them. Girl. Feeling her set of tits push hard into her back she let a small smirk form on her lips. Her eyes remained shut letting out a content sigh feeling the girl run her hands up and down her sides. Bringing her hand up she let it curl around the back of the girls neck she let her fingers gingerly grip some of the hair at the back of her neck giving it a small tug recieving a small grunt from her admirer.

"You look nice .. " Emily's voice cooed against Naomi's ear, preparing herself for her to run off again. Her grip on her hips tightening a little when Naomi unwrapped her hand from her hair attempting to pull out of her grip.

"Stop running Naomi, I did." Naomi let her body relax a little more against Emily's. She wanted to turn round, she wanted to come face to face with her. Wrap her hands around Emily's little frame and look at her, really fucking look at her. Feeling her breath hitch in her throat at the feeling of Emily's hands grip her hips and spin her round, settling on her lower back. Their body's pushed flush against each other. The fitted together just like they had all those years ago. Moving, breathing and hurting in perfect sync.

"I never went to Goa" Emily breathed, feeling the tremble of Naomi's hands as they wrapped around her neck.

Emily had infact gave the tickets to Goa to her parent's, offered to look after James while they were gone. She didn't regret it. Mandy had just been a distraction, someone to make her feel wanted again. But she ended it. Because she knew what it was like to be hurt, and she didn't want to be the cause of someone else's pain. Although she did infact head off to Italy. Alone. It took her two years to finally pluck up the courage to come back. She'd stopped running from the pain. Because unlike Naomi here she was, ready to face it because It hurt more not seeing her every day like she used to than it did coming to terms with her cheating. That was one of the many things Emily had discovered.

"C-aan i get you a drink?" Naomi chocked out. Her hands still nervously perched on Emily's shoulders.

"Vodka and-" Emily began, stopping at the sight of a knowing smirk forming on Naomi's lips.  
"Cranberry" Naomi finnished the sentence for her.

Emily let a smile form on her lips, her wide brown eyes dancing happily along with the strobe lights, letting go of Naomi's hips reaching down for her hand instead. Her eyes never leaving Naomi's face watching as the blonde tucked the side of her bottom lip under her top row of teeth. Eyeing their hands with wild eyes. She was obviously on something. Emily knew that. MDMA she suspected.

Naomi quickly wrapped her slender fingers around Emily's tugging her off in the direction of the bar, Catching Effy's eye on the way.

She saw it, the smile reaching spreading on her lips, giving her a small nod. Although this time Naomi noticed something different, Effy's smile was the one not quite reaching her eyes this time.


	7. She Said, Get Your Coat, Come On

She found it strange, forgetting what it was like to breathe. She'd spent the past few months remembering it was essential to do so, that it now fell foreign not too. It was like Emily had literally wrapped her little fists around each of Naomi's lungs and squeezed the air out of them. It took her longer than nessisary to exhale the puff of air she'd been holding in the back of her throat, gulping it down everytime it attempted to creep it's way up, threatning to pour out through her lips.

The scent of Emily driffted swiftly up through her noes, making her wish she hadn't let go of the fresh air she'd been savouring so early. Vanilla and Coconuts, just like she remembered. Naomi used to wake up with her face stuffed comfortably away into Emily's abundance of Vanilla scented hair every morning, and she used to kiss her way up her coconut flavoured skin everynight. It soothed her, the old familar scent. But all the same it made her legs threaten to give way from under her.

Pushing up against the bar she gripped it for support, Her eyes trained on the beer drowned counter infront of her, her nails instinctivly digging into her palms creating familar little cresent shapes on her unblemished skin. She needed to feel a little pain to know this was real, she needed to feel something under her skin besides Emily.

Because that's the effect she had on Naomi. She had the ability to creep under her skin and suck the life out of her, over and over again.

" Vodka cranberry and a tripple vodka - No infact just make that a straight tripple" Naomi's voice crackled a little. Feeling Emily hop up onto the chair next to her. She couldn't bring herself to look at her. She could feel her staring at her, staring at her with her wide brown chocolate coloured eyes, she could feel her smirk. She didn't have to look to know she was doing it.

"Tripple ay? Easy tiger" Emily cooed, reaching a tentaive hand forward placing it ontop of Naomi's peeling her fingers out of her skin. Her thumb brushing over the back of Naomi's hand for a second before her attention turned to the barman, giving him a small thanks before taking her drink. Watching Naomi knock hers back in one, without even a flinch. While she sipped slowly at her vodka cranberry.

"What are you doing here Emily?" Naomi finally spoke, a little more confidence in her voice. Yet still she couldn't bring herself to look at her.

"Figured Italy was a bit cliche .. " Lies. Dragging her eyes off Naomi she focused on the bar infront of her, her index finger circling the rim of her glass slowly.

Truth was she'd recieved a phone call from Katie a little over a couple of days ago, Katie had brought up that she'd bumped into Naomi, and the state she was in. Harmless passing coversation. Concern, that's why she was here. Truth.

" Right" Naomi nodded slowly, sliding her hand through her soft blonde curls, finally lifting her eyes to trail them over the petite brunette infront of her.

She wondered silently if there was another reason Emily had come back, pushed her way back into Naomi's life. But it always came down to one thing. Fate. She never really belived in anything like that. Ever since she was a kid she'd reckoned it was a load of bollocks. Nothing was ment to happen, people made them happen. Until Emily.

"Let's get out of here, it's shit" Emily smiled softly, snapping Naomi from her daze as she knocked back her drink, tucking some hair behind her ears before easing herself off her chair, heading off in the direction of the exit, glancing back every so often to make sure Naomi was on her tail. And of course she was, following her like a little lost puppy. Following her like sixteen year old Emily used to follow Naomi. Dazed, Confused and Hopeful.

It didn't take them long to finally manage to stop a taxi and crawl into the backseat. Sure they had to stand in the rain for ten minutes, both of them soaked to the bones, and freezing. But they got their in the end.

Glancing over at Naomi, Emily smiled softly her eyes scanning the blondes shivering form, shigting closer to her allowing her body to press a little against hers to keep her warm.  
" Your place or Mine?"

It was debatable, Naomi thought. If her shivering was due to her being evidently freezing. Or if it was from the simple fact Emily was huddled up next to her providing her with body heat, her husky voice cooing softly.

"Mine" Naomi whispered softly. A small smile creeping up onto her lips.

It wasn't the end, nor was it the beginning she'd been looking for. But she liked to think of it as the happy medium. Picking up from where they left off. Because a journeys never really a journey unless you cross the finnish line. Emily was her finnish line. She was the missing chapter of the story she never wanted to end.


	8. On Suspicion Of Doing Her Wrong

She used to sit for hours watching it. The rain. When everyone else her age was out with friends, she'd sit alone in her room. Her head lazily pressed against the cold glass of the window, taking in the storm outside. Because she was comfortable. Being alone.

Wrapping her arms loosly around her legs she took up the familiar position she used to spend days on end wrapped up in. Pulling her legs close to her chest, allowing her chin to nestle against her knees, her stare vacant.

Most people would complain, because in reality the weather was shitty, wasn't it. But not Naomi. She'd sit at the window, watching the raindrops trickle aimlessly from the top to the bottom. Childishly betting on which one would sucessfully reach the bottom first. But in the end, without a doubt on it's sluggish journey down the window it always connected to another, finnishing the race not as one but dependant on another. That's when it hit her, did the little droplet actually want to connect to another? need it on order to finnish the race? probably.

She'd started her journey alone, as one. But somewhere along the line she'd connected to Emily, needed her in order to finnish what she had started. She wondered now, if she hadn't connected to Emily, and they'd both continued working their way along seperate. Would things be different?

But maybe it's okay to need someone, something. To cling onto to help us somewhere down the line. Maybe it's okay to open up and show someone you need them.

Naomi reckoned that maybe that was just her, that maybe she looked into things too much. Details. But it's better like that isn't it? If people on-looked the world in black and white there wouldn't be anything exciting to look for. Emily blinded Naomi with red. She spend so much time studying her, details, things she could bet her life on that noone else would have noticed about her that she tried to find something equivelet to that beauty, to her. So far she'd still found nothing.

"Tea?" Naomi glanced over to the kitchen door, spotting Emily leaning casually against the door frame freshly dressed in one of Naomi's old band shirts, her hair tossled and wet.

Naomi nodded numbly. Watching her disapear again. She returned her attention to the window sliding her hand through her damp messy hair. Glancing down at the dress she was still wearing. It was soaked through to her skin. Exhaling a shaky breath she glanced towards the kitchen door.

There was nothing but silence. The occasional clatter coming from Emily making them tea, and the continuous raindrops thudding against the windows. Apart form that, nothing. Slowly slipping off her heels she quietly padded into her bedroom. Stripping off to her underwear, grabbing out a fresh t-shirt to cover her body. Tugging it over her head she ruffled out hair hair again slowly making her way back into the lounge, spotting Emily perched on the sofa sipping at her tea.

"You can take my room tonight, i'll sleep on the sofa" Naomi breathed softly, flopping down onto the opposite end of the sofa, reaching forward taking her cup, offering Emily a small smile as a thank you.

"No, it's okay i really don't mind taking the so-" Emily started, interuped by Naomi shaking her head quickly. Settling down her cup.  
"No, im on the sofa.. your a guest" Naomi nodded forcefully. Taking another sip of her tea before setting it on the table infront of her, pulling her legs up under her bum, shrugging off her need to shiver.

"Thankyou" Emily smiled, stiffling a yawn. Leaning back a little more into the sofa, tilting her head to the side to take in Naomi's form. She really never had seen anything as beautiful. She let her eyes wander down from her abundence of messy blonde, damp locks. To the perfect form of her face protrait. Continuing down the slope of her long slender neck, her exposed bare shoulder from the ripped collar of her shirt. She let her eager eyes trail all the way down the length of her slender frame, smirking slightly at the exposure of her long legs. Blinking hard remembering how only a short period of time ago she used to be able to claim them as her own, how they used to wrap perfectly around her waist, or gently nudge their way between her own when Naomi was sleep.

They finally settled on something unfamiliar. The long jagged scar trailing from Naomi's right wrist til halfway up her forearm makes Emily slump further down into her chair. Not Naomi. Gulping hard she inhaled a shaky breath, holding it in the back of her throat eyeing Naomi's other wrist which is marked the same, with the occasional scatter of horizontal lines mapping her left arm aswell. It couldn't be. But it was.

Letting her lips part, Naomi allowed an eager yawn escape them, her eyes falling heavy all of a sudden. Then again with the lack of MDMA fresh in her system keeping her awake like it usually did, it was expected. Reaching forward she grabbed her cup taking another few sips of it pushing to her feet turning her attention to Emily. Who quite frankly looked like she'd just seen a ghost "are you done?" she spoke softly, nodding towards her cup.

Emily quickly nodded, exhaling the breath she was holding, her eyes landing on the inside of Naomi's thighs. Her lips parting at the sight. The mass of thin white lines flawed her perfect skin. Scars of pain, of horror, of Emily.

Naomi noticed her staring, her hand quickly flying down to the bottom of her shirt, tugging it down further to hide them. Her breathing hitching in her throat a little. Shit. She wasn't supposed to see them. No one was supposed to see them. They were hers, hers.

"Y-yeah, f-finnished" Emily choked out, quickly adverting her gaze to the table infront of her. Trying her hardest to pretend she hadn't seen them. Avoid making Naomi feel uncomfortable. Her breathing was ragged. Like someone had just punched her full force in the stomach and knocked every bit of air out of her. But it wasn't as easy as that. Her eyes adverted back to the mass of scars lacing the beautiful skin of Naomi's thighs once more. Her lips parting slightly, while her brow unconsiously creased in concern.

Naomi fidgeted on the spot. She knew Emily had seen them. She could tell. Not from the obvious stare, but from the way her eyes clouded over in concern. She wanted to say something, snap at her and tell her to mind her own fucking buisness. But she just didn't have the strength anymore. Quickly reaching over she swiftly scooped up Emily's cup before scuffling off to the kitchen. Placing them in the sink.

Emily remained in the same spot. She heard Naomi shift off from the kitchen to the room just down the hall. She felt numb, number than she'd felt in a long time. It just didn't make sense. Naomi wouldn't do that. It wasn't in her nature. Not the Naomi she knew.

But then again, she didn't know Naomi anymore, maybe she never really did.

Pushing to her feet she slowly made her way down to the room Naomi had just entered, Leaning against the door frame she quietly observed the room. Deffinatly Naomi's. Glancing around she felt the familiar comforting smell of the blonde drift up through her nose, Her eyes landing on her grabbing out a duvet from the closet in her room. Huffing and puffing random, unaudable words to herself.

Turning on her heel Naomi stuffed the blanket under her arm, her trademark frown masking her face before her eyes lifted spotting Emily leaning against the door. Stopping dead in her tracks she tried to offer her a small smile but it just didn't seem to reach her eyes.

Emily thought about what she'd say, how she'd bring it up. But she knew that somethings were better said with unspoken words. Actions proved so much more. Especially in Naomi's case. It was how she'd always been. Slowly closing the door Emily leaned against it for a moment, making her way over to Naomi who seemed glued to the spot.

She gently removed the blanket from under Naomi's arm, throwing it aside. Her hand gently reaching up tucking some blonde hair behind her ears. Allowing it to confidently trail down and trace her jawline. Her wide brown eyes still tainted with concern, her frown still imprinted on her expressions. Reaching down she gently gripped Naomi's hand with her spare hand, lifting it up a little her eyes hesitantly tearing off Naomi's expression. She was staring blankly at nothing, viciously biting the side of her lip. A sign of her becoming nervous, anxious. Emily noted that Naomi only ever bit her lip on two occasions. When she was eager, happy. Or when she was deep in thought, nervous. In this case the latter.

Emily's eyes trailed their way up the full length of the scar, her thumb trailing over it as her eyes worked their way back down. She felt Naomi tug her arm a little as if she was going to pull it away. But she also felt her give up in defeat. There was no hiding it now.

She could feel her body trembling, like her knees were going to give way from under her. Emily shouldn't be seeing this. But at the same time she couldn't bring herself to pull her arms away. She was too gone in her mind to direct her body to function properly.

"Jesus Christ" Emily finally breathed, tears prickling her eyes. Because it was real. It wasn't some shit she'd saw on the tele, something she could turn over when it got a little too much. This was reality, this was Naomi.

Slowly sliding her fingertips down off Naomi's wrist she gently laced their fingers together. Silently sniffling away some tears before brining her eyes up to come face to face with Naomi's tear soaked cheeks.

She wasn't even aware she'd been crying. Or that she'd cut her lip from biting it so hard. Not until she taste of stale metal was overpowering her tastebuds, laced with the salt of her tears.

It took her a few minutes to process what was happening. To notice that Emily was leading her over to her bed, pulling back the covers and helping her in, Before crawling in herself. She could feel herself trembling, until she felt the comforting warmth of Emily pushing her body against her back. Allowing her little form to fit into the shape of Naomi's. Her arms wrapped protectivly around the blonde's waist.

"It's gonna be okay now, i promise" Emily whispered against Naomi's shoulder, wetting it with her own tears.

Naomi gulped back the lump in her throat, reaching down for one of Emily's hands that was wrapped around her waist, bringing it up so it was tucked away under her chin. Her body shaking every so often with sobs.

"I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, Not again" Emily continued to coo, pressing a few soft kisses against her shoulder nuzzling her body further against the blondes back.

And they stayed like that, for the next few hours. Emily muttering soft comforting words against Naomi's skin. Until she finally felt the blondes sobs even out into long deep breaths, ensuring her she'd fallen asleep. Her spare hand idly trailing through Naomi's soft blonde hair, gaining a content sign from the sleeping blonde on occassion.

Emily remained awake for a good bit afterwards. Her eyes fixated on Naomi's sleeping form, listening to the calming sound of the strom outside.

This was how it was supposed to be. This was how it was always supposed to have been. No complications, no hurt, no pain. Just them. Because like Naomi, Emily liked to belive the rain washed everything clean.


	9. She Said, You've Become A Villian

She dealt with the piercing cries by cradeling her close to her chest, knowing the familiar feeling of her heartbeat would soothe her. She encouraged her to get right back up whenever she fell down, even if she was a little wobbly at first she knew she'd get there in the end. She nursed her back to health from something as minor as the cold, to cleaning and plastering up her war wounds from tripping up. Because she always was clumbsy on her feet. She gently stroked her fingertip down the bridge of her noes to lull her back to sleep after a nightmare. She supported her every decision. Because she was smart, smarter than anyone she had ever known. Even if it did result in her having to soothe her cries like she did as soon as she had arrived into her life. Because she was her mother, and thats what mothers do. But there was nothing left for Gina Campbell to do now. It was out of her hands. Now it was her turn to pierce the silence with her cries.

Naomi had offically hit rock bottom.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

So here she was, in one of London's finest mental hospitals. Locked away until they fixed her. Naomi only scoffed at the idea, they didn't understand. No one could fix her, not now.

"I'd like to go to my room please" She muttered to one of the nurses casting a glance over her shoulder at the rest of the patients. They were all fucking mental. She wasn't supposed to be here, this wasn't the place for her. It just wasn't, why couldn't they understand that?

_"were sending you away for a few months Naomi,somewhere you'll be able to rest" the doctor peered over his glasses at Naomi.  
"and where the fuck is 'somewhere'?" Naomi snapped, her eyes rolling instantly.  
" capio nightingale-"  
" A fucking mental home? your sending me to a fucking nuthome?" Naomi spat, pushing up off her seat, leaning across the desk further towards the doctor.  
"im. not. fucking. mental." she breathed her brows knitting together.  
"Naomi, four days ago you tried to kill yourself, for the third time in two months"  
"I didn't try and kill myself" she breathed a little more calmly.  
"Naomi, you washed down a tub of asprin with a bottle of vodka i-"  
"i didn't try and kill myself alright! i just wanted to make it go away, all the shit in my head i wanted to make it stop .. i didn't try to kill myself" her voice crackled._

"Naomi? .. Naomi?" The nurse gave her a little nudge snapping her out of her train of thought, offering her a warm smile as she nodded towards the hallway, leading her back towards her room.

Naomi offered her a small smile once she was inside, nodding as if to tell her she could fuck off now. Slipping under the itchy blue blanket she'd spent most of her time wrapped up in for the past two months. It wasn't the best, but it'd make do she thought. Tugging it up she tucked it neatly under her chin, clenching her eyes closed in hopes of sleep taking over her.

"Well look what we have here" the voice hissed from behind her  
"what's wrong Naomikins? reckon if you hang around us too much you'll end up mad? eh?" It taunted a little more, finally the warmth of the blanket she had tucked around her was gone and a slender hand was wrapped around her wrist pulling her up to look at them.

Lizzie.

She wasn't an unknown face around here. She'd been in and out of here for the past nine years - sociopath. The other girls practically dropped to her feet, following her around like a train of little lost puppies, all accept Naomi.

"Well i hate to break it to you sweet heart but- " She gripped Naomi's wrist a little tighter ripping her jumper sleve up to reveal the scars lacing her arms letting out a a small scoff shoving Naomi's arm up into her direct eye line making her look at it.  
"We're not the only mental ones in here kid" She smirked mischeviously, dropping Naomi's arm.  
"And it's about time you faced the facts, we'll be here when you do" giving her a cheeky wink she turned on her heel and left, the rest of the girls quick on her tail.

Naomi instantly backed up agaisnt the wall, grabbing her knees to her chest sinking her face into the crook between her legs. Breathing heavily, she wouldn't cry. Not in here, she couldn't crack.

_"Where are you going?" Emily's husky morning voice breathed softly, propping herself up on her elbows squinting her eyes to see Naomi a little clearer.  
Naomi never replied, she just continued to tug her clothes on, grabbing the bottle of vodka on her desk taking a few quick gulps before stuffing it in her bag throwing it over her shoulder.  
"Naomi, look at me" Emily breathed even softer this time.  
"I'm here now, I'm going to help you, I'm not going anywhere, everything i said lastnight, i ment it all" she started, only to be faced with Naomi's head spinning round to look at her. Her eyes puffy and red, tired. Her face pale and restless.  
"I can't do this anymore" her voice trailed off with confidence  
"Goodbye Emily"_

She wondered, maybe if she'd stayed with Emily that day, would things be different.

Probably.

Reaching down she grabbed her blanket off the floor tugging it back over her frail body, curling up into herself, slipping her hand under her pillow she retrieved two little white pills, popping them into her mouth. letting her eyes fall closed after a few seconds. Turns out saving her sleeping pills at the top of her mouth after medication time was worth it in the end.

Four months. Her mother had visited her three days out of seven. Naomi rejected seeing her for the first few weeks but finally gave in. Because this wasn't Gina's fault. This was her fault.

She'd informed her mother to tell Effy and Cook not to come visit. She'd see them once she was out. Besides she knew it would be too hard for Effy to revisit one of these places, she only wished she'd known how Effy had felt back then, Maybe she could have helped her. Besides, she'd found some comfort in Lizzie, turns out once your on her good side, things can actually be pretty fucking alright.

"Naomi, You've got a visiter" Nurse Miller cooed from behind her. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Naomi frowned a little, it was Tuesday. Gina only came on Monday, Thursday and Sunday's. Her eyes landed on the rest of the girls huddled round her watching T.v before she followed their eyeline down the hallway.

Emily.

"you never told me she was that hot naomikins" Lizzie whispered giving her a playful nudge before her eyes fell on the petite girl standing next to one of the other nurses. Shuffling her feet nervously.

" What are you doing here?" Naomi's eyebrows knitted together, ignoring everyone gawping at her, and more importantly gawping at Emily.

"Naomi dear, why don't you take your visiter into your room? or you have some free ground time it's a nice day out-" Naomi cut nurse Miller off with a small nod.

"Thanks" She slowly pushed up off the sofa heading into her room, glancing behind her a few times to make sure Emily was following. Closing it behind her she leaned against the door, watching Emily wander around the small room before turning back to her.

"How are you doing?" Emily cooed softly, tucking some of her chocolate brown hair behind her ear her eyes scanning over Naomi's apperance.  
"Oh you know, i just feel like a massive ball of Joy-"  
"Naomi, Don't " Emily cut her off with a pained expression masking her face.

Naomi stared over at her for a moment before sliding down against the door, running her hands through her blonde curls, her breath catching in the back of her throat before letting it out.

"I miss you" she slurred quickly, her eyes fixated on the white linonium flooring, anywhere but Emily.

It happened before her brain had the time to coprehend what was happening. Emily had dropped to her knees beside her, kicking one leg over Naomi so she was stradeling her thighs, while her little hands cupped her cheeks. The pad of her thumbs tenderly stroking her soft skin.

"I never stopped missing you" Emily whispered, dipping her head to capture Naomi's lips with her own in a soft, tender kiss. Pulling away after a second "not ever" she breathed. Her warm brown eyes shifted up to meet Naomi's ice blue ones.

Pushing to her feet Naomi felt Emily's legs wrap tightly around her waist, using her upper body strength to hold the smaller girl up. Her body shuddering at the sensation of Emily fingertips stroking her cheeks then gripping the back of her hair before she gently placed her down onto the bed, crawling ontop of her. Her hands proping her up above the smaller girl.

She'd wanted this for so long, the feeling of Emily's body pressed against her own, the warmth of her skin on hers. She needed her, more than any drug in the world.

Emily's fingers worked at the buttons of Naomi's white blouse, peeling it off her frail body letting it drop carelessly to the floor beside them. Before allowing Naomi to do the same to her, lifting her head up slightly to capture Naomi's lips with her own again. A little more passionate than before. Kissing her like she'd die if she didn't. Because some times that's how it felt.

Naomi dipped her head letting her lips trail of Emily's and slowly work their way down her jawline before settling on her neck, her tongue trailing across Emily's pulse point before gently sucking at it. Her hand finding it's way round to unhook her bra, removing it from Emily's body. She pulled away after a few moments, shifting her position so she was stradeling Emily's waist, her eyes scanning over the perfect little body under her in complete amazement. It didn't matter how many times she'd seen it, it facinated her each time, without fail.

Emily managed to snap Naomi out of her daze by wrestling her over, taking Naomi's previous position. Reaching round she swiftly removed Naomi's bra, pressing her body down against Naomi's, gently taking Naomi's lobe between her teeth feeling the blonde shudder under her as she sucked it gently, a smirk gracing her lips. Enjoying how it still had the same effect on her that it did when they used to make love.

"Your so fucking beautiful" Emily breathed, her fingertips working at the buttons of Naomi's jeans, finally tugging them off her legs along with her underwear. Leaving her completely naked under Emily's watchful eye.

Naomi shifted unfomfortably underneath her, watching as Emily's eyes took in ever inch of her.

Emily attacked the blondes lips once more, her tongue trailing along Naomi's bottom lip as if asking to be granted access, which was quickly accepted by the parting of her lips. Emily allowed her hand to snake up and down Naomi's stomach, finally cupping her right breast feeling her nipple harden under her touch. Planting a scatter of butterfly kisses onto the blondes skin as she worked her way down to her chest, taking Naomi's left nipple between her lips, allowing her tongue to circle it, gaining a lust filled moan from the blonde. Feeling Naomi's hands rake into her back, grunting a little herself from the sharp pain of Naomi's nails dragging into her skin. Grinning she made sure to be painfully slow in kissing her way down her stomach, her arms wrapping around Naomi's thighs. Finally reaching them Emily let her eyes flutter open, eyeing the scars, Naomi's lines of anguish. Taking a sharp breath she quickly let it out, her lips tenderly beginning to place soft kisses along the white lines, Feeling Naomi's body shiver underneath her.

Emily slowly kissed her way back up pausing for a moment before she reached Naomi's lips, her fingertips trailing down her arm.  
" Like i said" She leaned in planting a soft kiss onto her lips " So" kiss."Fucking"kiss." Beautiful" Kiss.

Her hand snaked it's way down her body once more, finally reaching it's destination. Her eyes flickering open to watch Naomi's face. Slowly letting her finger slide through Naomi's wet folds she placed a tender kiss onto Naomi's forehead hearing her wimper a little. Slowly curving her finger inside her she felt the blonde grip onto her tighter, her head dipping back, exposing the long slope of her creamy white neck. Emily took the oppertunity to plant her lips onto her pulse point sucking at it gently, adding another finger afer a few seconds. Keeping the pace of her fingers pumping in and out of the girl under her steady.

"Fuck" Naomi's breath was ragged, desperate. Her eyes clenched closed as her body arched up further agaisnt Emily's. Gripping onto the smaller girl desperatly  
"Emily " she breathed her name along with a few mumbled moans and curse words.

Feeling her begin to tighten around her Emily swiftly added another finger, picking up her pace a little before Naomi finally tipped over the edge, her moans echoing around the room. Blood freshly been drawn from the nail marks on her back from Naomi's nails sinking in too deep. She felt the blonde finally begin to shudder under her, slowing her pace down a little to ride out the high along with her.

"fuck" Naomi breathed heavily, watching as Emily extracted her fingers, placing each of them between her lips slowly sucking them clean before leaning in placing a soft kiss onto Naomi's lips, rolling off so she was facing her. Pulling the blonde close to her chest, aching to hold her close.

"i need you naomi, really fucking need you" Emily breathed, tucking some of Naomi's sweat damp hair behind her ears, quickly shifting her eyes up to stare straight at her.

Naomi nodded slowly, she needed her too. More than Emily could ever understand. Shifting closer to her she tucked her head under Emily's chin wrapping her arms tightly around Emily's waist her eyes fluttering closed.

"i just-i just need to get better" Naomi mumbled quietly  
"i'm-i'm getting better" She continued, shifting her head so it was on Emily's chest instead, feeling her heartbeat thudding rapidly against her ear.  
"for you, i'm getting better for you" and that was the best she could do. For now.

* * *

Sorry i haven't been updating, i've been a little busy  
i hope your all enjoying it as much as i am writing it

some feedback would be highly appreicated!


	10. Accused Of A Hit And Run

The stale smell of alcohol, spliff, sweat and vomit mercilessly fogged her sense of smell, causing her nose to twitch up in disgust. The smell of a good party never did die easily. Hesitantly stepping a little further inside Naomi's brow creased, the floor was pollouted with fresh vomit, empty bottles of booze, people. Gripping the handle attached to her suitcase, Naomi's eyes scanned around in search for Effy, even Cook.

Emily had continued to visit her regularly after that day. Every Tuesday, Wednesday after work and every Friday, Saturday before work. It suited Naomi, getting into a routine. She liked routines. They spent days wandering aimlessly around the hospital grounds, scarfs wrapped snuggly around their slender necks, Thick jackets zipped up as far as it could go, and their hands locked together through warm knitted gloves. Protecting them from the bitter cold of the winter. They spent hours tucked away under the old willow tree, sheltered away from the rain, snow.

Sometimes they stayed tucked away in Naomi's room, wrapped up in each others arms, their limbs tangled as they devoured in stolen kisses, affectionate touches and hushed conversations. They talked about their friends, their dreams, their goals. Just like they used to all those years ago. However they were no longer sixteen and dreaming of fairytales. No, because the room they were laying in was solid proof that life isn't always easy. Their are hiccups but all the same those hiccups could be soothed eventually. Slowly.

They talked about Emily's job. After graduating from university she'd gone on to persue what she'd always wanted to . She was teaching as an English professer at one of the local colleges. Naomi reckoned it suited her perfectly, she was determined, creative, open minded and passionate. The qualities any teacher should have. The qualities she wished she had.

Naomi had learned the hardships of life. She'd saw people come, saw them go. Some in more horrfic ways than others. She'd celebrated her 20th birthday wrapped up in her cell under her blanket. Figured it wouldn't be fair on her mother or Emily having to make do trying to celebrate with her while she was in here, so she decided she'd wait til she was out before they went to rushing around trying to organise something for her. She'd laughed, she'd cried, she'd hated herself, she'd loved herself. But in the end she'd finally managed to reach a happy medium. For the past few years she'd felt like she was perched alone on a see saw. When she was up she was up, when she was down she was down. Then when Emily came along and perched herself on the other end she realised that even though she wasn't alone anymore, she was dragging her little red along for the ride. Now she realised that it didn't have to be like that, they could be whatever they wanted. She could be whatever she wanted.

They discussed how Naomi would get out, and settle in back home before she attended University after the summer. She'd secured herself a place at Goldsmiths, BA (hons) in Politics with Economics. Just like she'd always wanted. Because sometimes it's alright to believe in some asspects of fairytails she thought.

_"i." kiss "have." kiss "to." kiss "go." Emily planted her lips gently against Naomi's one last time before climbing off the bed smoothing down her black pencil skirt, fixing the buttons on her creme blouse Naomi had sneekily undone earlier.  
"you know miss fitch, your arse looks great in that skirt " Naomi cocked her eyebrows up with a smirk.  
" oh really?" Emily teased, intentionally sticking it out a little bit more as she reached down to slip her heels back on.  
"mmm" Naomi breathed, reaching forward gripping Emily's hips from behind pulling her back onto the bed, sitting up slightly to plant a few soft kisses onto the crook of Emily's exposed white neck.  
"so much so that im quite jealous off all the hormonal teenagers who get to stare at my girlfriends arse all day as she jots stuff down on the board" Naomi grinned against her skin.  
Emily's body tensed a little, a heavy silence falling upon them instantly.  
Naomi clenched her eyes go slowly letting go of Emily. Shit. Why couldn't she just keep her big mouth closed. Girlfriend. They hadn't even discussed where this was going and here she was calling her, her girlfriend.  
"... Emily i'm sorr-"  
"I better get going" Emily managed a smile, tugging her coat over her shoulders fastening it up, her wide brown eyes flickering over Naomi after a few seconds, seeing how the colour had drained from her cheeks.  
"You get out tomorrow" Emily stated, watching Naomi nod numbly.  
"We'll talk about everything tomorrow, until then .. stay out of mischef yeah?" Emily ordered with a playful tone, crouching over she rested her hand on the bed, using the other to caress Naomi's cheek.  
"anyway, they can look all they want .. but your the only one that gets to cop a feel"  
Emily smirked, placing a soft kiss onto Naomi's forehead._

Naomi crooked her head around the door to Cook's room. Seeing the bed occupied with a few bodies, limbs tangled. Her eyebrows cocking when she realised who they belonged too. Katie. She smirked knowingly her eyes falling upon Cooks naked figure, hugging the other twin close to him.

Wandering further down the hallway she passed the living room, filled with a few more lifeless figures. Panda, Thomas, JJ, Lara .. some she didn't recognise. Continuing on her journey she quietly opened the door to Effy's room, her brow creasing seeing her bed still made, apparent it hadn't been slept in. Exhaling softly she closed the door back over before entering her own room. Pulling her little suitcase along with her, setting it aside before her eyes fell upon her bed. The sheets were messy, the duvet was half on the bed, half off it. But there she was, wrapped up in a little ball at Naomi's side of the bed, her face peaceful with sleep. Effy.

After her encounter with Emily. Naomi decided that she wanted to see Effy, needed to see her. She needed her best friend. She made about five visits over the whole year before Naomi told her to stop. Because she wasn't stupid, she could see the way Effy became tense, the way she squirmed in her seat anytime one of the other girls kicked off. It just brought back too many memories for her and Naomi couldn't face being the one that was causing her to relive them. So they decided they'd just keep in contact through phonecalls. Still, even that didn't fill the hole she was missing. The hole that Effy fitted.

Quietly closing the door, Naomi padded over to the other side of the bed, slowly slipping off her jeans, leaving on her much too big t-shirt before slowly climbing under the blankets. Feeling Effy stir she smiled softly to herself. Slowly shifting close to her her arm snaking around her waist before stuffing her face away into her mass of dark toussled hair.

" Naoms?" Effy's voice croaked, slowly craning her neck round, voice thick and hoarse and her eyes reduced to slits proving she was still half asleep.  
Naomi hadn't told anyone accept Emily when she was getting out, figured she'd rather surprise them.  
"Yeah, it's me Eff, go back to sleep yeah .." Naomi slowly trailed her fingers soothingly down Effy's arm before wrapping it back around her little waist, placing a soft kiss onto the top of her forehead.  
Effy numbly nodded shifting her body backwards into Naomi's gripping her hand that was resting on her stomach, brining it up under her chin wanting to feel her as close as possible to her.  
"needed to get away, yeah?" Effy whispered, answering naomi's thoughts as to why Effy was curled up in here instead of her own room.  
"i love you" Naomi cooed into her hair, her eyes fluttering closed.  
She heard Effy's breathing eventually even out, become heavier. Providing her with the knowlage she had fallen back asleep again.

It was then Naomi remembered what time it was again. That time of year where they all got together and celebrated the life of someone wonderful. It'd be two years today since they had buired their friend, their Freddie. Time had seemed to ease the pain of their hearts, all accept Effys. Now it was Naomi's turn to pick up the little pieces of Effy that Freddie had left behind and pull her through this like she had every year since he'd gone.

Soon enough Effy's breathing had lulled her off to sleep, in the comfort of her own house, her own room, her own bed, her own Effy. 


	11. Hit Me First And I Say It's The Worst

It wasn't the cold breeze pouring in through the open bedroom window that woke her. It wasn't the absense of the warm body she'd been snuggled up next too only hours earlier. It wasn't the dip of the bed she'd felt moving into the space behind her. It wasn't the fingertips gingerly trailing through her soft, white blonde hair continuously. It was the sweet smell of food drifting up through her nose. That's what woke her.

Naomi let a soft groan escape her lips as she slowly rolled over onto her back, streaching her arms out feeling her right hand come in contact with something warm propped up beside her. Hesitantly letting her eyes flicker open she blinked a couple of times to allow them ajust to the light before her line of vision landed upon the owner of the hand still idly playing with her hair.

"Morning" Emily's voice cooed gently, her lips quirking upwards into an adorable smile as she watched Naomi sit up a little, rubbing at her sleepy eyes.

"wha-why aren't you at wo- her voice crackled, still thick with sleep. Emily silenced her quickly. Leaning in planting her soft cherry red lips onto Naomi's, allowing her hands to slip out of her hair and carefully cup the blonde's cheeks instead, using the bads of her thumbs to caress her porcline skin.

Naomi felt her lips curl up at each side, proping herself up a little further on her elbow while her spare hand rested gently on Emily's t-shirt covered stomach, allowing her fingertips to curl around her hip giving it a light squeeze.

"well..." Emily began, after reluctantly breaking off their kiss.  
"i knew you were getting out today, so i took the day off" She nodded slowly, placing a quick kiss onto her forehead before wriggling out of her grip reaching over to the bedside table scooping up the plate containing, freshly cooked eggs and toast. Raising her eyebrows a little as she pushed it over in Naomi's direction.  
"figured you'd be hungry" she shrugged casually, shuffling back into the position she was in.

Naomi smiled widely mumbling a quiet thank-you followed by a quick peck on the cheek. Reaching over she grabbed a slice of toast wriggling around slightly until she had succesfully managed to sprawl her body out over Emily. Her cheek pressed against Emily's toned bare stomach that she'd managed to expose by using her fingertips to ride it up. She let her teeth clamp around the slice of toast she had perched between her fingertips letting out a soft sigh feeling Emily's stomach tense as she moved her upper body around looking for the remote trying not to disturb the position Naomi had made herself comfortable in. Finally settling back done once she'd switched it on.

She chewed thoughtfully on the slice of toast, ignoring the crumbs she was accidently sprinkling all over Emily's creamy white stomach, reaching down to pry Emily's hand off her hip where it was resting, leading it back up to her hair. Silently requesting she played with it again.

Emily's eyes flickered down to the blonde munching away quietly on her stomach, beginning to slide her fingertips through her hair again she felt her body slowly begin to relax. She knew Naomi loved getting her hair played with, she used to do it almost every night to help soothe her to sleep. Remembering how Naomi mentioned Gina used to do it to her as a kid whenever she had a bad dream. Slowly twirling the end of one of her blonde curls around her fingers she exhaled contently.  
"Everyone's away to the cemetery" She spoke quietly.

Naomi's body tensed for a few seconds before proping herself up placing the crust of her toast aside, her eyes snapping back to Emily. Why hadn't nobody woke her and told her to get dressed so she could go along with them? Why wasn't Emily there? How was Effy? Feeling a frown mask her features she pulled the side of her bottom lip under her top, capturing it lightly with her teeth, giving it a small tug. Her brow wrinkling in thought.

"They didn't want to wake you, figured you could use the rest .. so i offered to stay" Emily breathed softly brushing her fingertip across Naomi's brow watching it smooth out again.  
"didn't want you waking up alone" She continued, using her hand to brush away the crumbs laying on her stomach before allowing her attention to flicker back to Naomi.  
"Don't worry, Katie's looking after Effy" She assured her, knowing deep down that's all Naomi was really worried about.

_"Sometimes I think she can read my mind, I seriously do" Naomi's face scrunched up at the thought._Letting a soft smile creep up onto her features at the memory Naomi nodded slowly to show she understood before sinking back down into her previous position, placing a soft kiss onto Emily's toned stomach before pressing her cheek against it letting her eyes flutter closed after a few seconds. Sometimes she wondered if Emily really could read her mind. As if on cue, Emily's hand found it's way into Naomi's hair once more, relaxing her into another sound sleep.

Naomi's eyes crept open for the second time that night. Taking in the dark room she let out a soft breath before realising she wasn't nestled away on the warmth of Emily's stomach like she rememberd falling asleep on. Her body instantly shot up earning a small groan from the sleeping body beside her, letting out a relieved sigh when she realised the warm body curled up next to her was Emily's. Her dark chocolate brown hair sprawled messily over Naomi's pillows, and her arms absentmidedly reaching out trying to encircle Naomi in her grip like she'd had her in a few minutes ago, while her face scrunched up in a restless manner. Naomi gently reached over running a fingertip gingerly down the bridge of Emily's cute little button nose watching her relax almost instantly. A smile washing over her face as she took in the beauty of the smaller girl infront of her.

She remembered it clearly, that restless look on Emily's face. It reminded her of the few months that followed her finding out about how Naomi had cheated. Naomi realised back then that not only had she made Emily restless in life, she'd even obscured her dreams with negativity.

"Cute" Effy's voice broke the silence, leaning heavily against the doorframe of Naomi's room. A fresh joint perched neatly between her fingers while her other arm wrapped neatly around her waist. Pulling her jumper closer to her small body.

"Jesus christ eff! you scared the shit out of me" Naomi took a deep breath, trying to calm hersef down from the shock of Effy startling her silence. Her voice much more hushed in dear of waking Emily. She just looked to peaceful to even concider waking.

Effy lazily let a grin form on her lips, unaware how it quirked up to one side. Naomi always noticed that about her, her wonky grin. But she loved it all the same.

Gently prying herself from Emily's new grip on her she quickly replaced herself with a pillow, watching Emily snuggle close to it, pushing her face into it inhaling deeply before settling down again. Naomi quietly made her way across the room, following Effy out into the lounge a heavy silence falling between them as they both flopped down onto the sofa.

Naomi's gaze fell upon the slender girl curled up against the arm of the chair, a freshly lit spliff hanging between her thick lips, allowing the smoke to slide eagerly between them. Before sucking hard, using her trembling fingers to pluck it from her lips, inhaling deeply allowing the drug to wash over her body. Naomi took a second to think. Effy looked so lost, so fragile. She wondered if that's how she looked to people.

Effy raised her hand offering Naomi the spliff with a soft smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes. Naomi wondered if she'd ever actually say Effy's smile reach her eyes. Shaking her head slightly she sighed. It wouldn't be sensible for her to get back into drugs, Emily wouldn't want her too.

She watched the brunette shrug before taking another few thoughtful puffs of it, her head dropping after a few minutes, using her slender fingertips to massage her temples. Naomi tilted her head back round to look at her, that was the first time she'd noticed it. Effy wasn't really Effy anymore. She never really had been Effy since the whole situation with Cook and Freddie. Then Freddie and Effy. They'd taken her away from being her and made it all about being them. Now with Freddie gone and Cook with Katie. The pieces of Effy they'd left behind weren't enough for her to pick up and piece together to make her whole again. Perhaps she'd never had enough of herself to know how to create the image of something whole.

Shifting closer Naomi curled her arm around Effy's shoulders pulling her close to her body.  
"You don't have to pretend with me you know" Naomi whispered softly.  
And as if on cue, Effy's body began to shudder against her. Silent sobs filling the room as she gripped onto Naomi's body, wetting her shirt with tears.  
"i need him Naomi, i need him" Effy croaked, choking on some of her tears.

Tears that proved Effy wasn't as tough as she thought. Tears that proved she wasn't as strong as they made her out to be. Tears that had needed an excuse to escape her eyes for a long time. Because sometimes it was okay to feel. Naomi knew that. Sometimes it was okay to cry. She knew that too. And sometimes all anyone really needs is the knowlage that they aren't alone. She'd learned that too. From Effy.

She'd rocked Effy's trembling body back and forth, brushing her hands up and down her back for the past hour. Finally realising she'd managed to soothe her off into a sleep. Her evened out breath gave her that confirmation. Slowly scooping her up bridal style into her arms, she smiled down at the sleeping girl passed out in her arms, heading along to her room she gently settled her down into her bed before tucking her in, planting a loving kiss onto her forehead. Slowly making her way back out.

Running her hands through her hair she exhaled softly, it had just gone three and she was more awake than ever. Trailing through to the kitchen she headed over to the counter switching the kettle on figuring she'd have a cup of tea then head back to bed.

"Naoms?" Emily's husky voice purred, thick with sleep from the kitchen door way.  
Naomi turned round her eyes falling upon a half naked Emily, dressed in only her underwear standing at the door way, her eyes reduced to slits as she rubbed at them sleepily with her little balled fists.  
"Emz, it's late .. go back to bed i'll be in soon" Naomi cooed watching the smaller girls face crumple with confusion before she eyed the clock, her eyes widening a little.  
"Is everything okay?" Emily asked softly, padding into the dark kitchen and over to Naomi.  
"yeah everything alright, couldn't sleep" Well, it was partly the truth. She'd just leave out the part about Effy, because really it wasn't anyone elses buisness.  
"come back to bed?" Emily sighed sleepily wrapping her arms around Naomi's waist nuzzling her head into her chest.  
"please" she yawned.

Naomi let a soft grin form on her lips, there really were no words to describe just how adorable Emily actually was. That was something that'd never leave her, how cute she could be. And the fact she had no idea she was doing it. Naomi nodded slowly planting a soft kiss onto the top of the small brunettes head.  
"c'mon then" she slid her hand down lacing her fingers with Emily as she led her back into the bedroom. Pulling back the blankets allowing her to crawl under before slipping in beside her.

"Naoms?" Emily breathed quietly, shuffling closer to the blonde as she curled into her side, shifting her head onto her chest while her arm curved up her stomach, her palm laying flat between the valley of Naomi's boobs. Tracing her fingertips gently across the top of her right one.

"yeah?" Naomi asked, slipping one of her arms under Emily's neck, letting it curl around her little shoulders, her thumb gently brushing the skin of her arm occasionally.

"would you like to go out with me tomorrow? for dinner?" her voice purred, sounding more and more sleepy by the second.

Naomi let a soft laugh escape her lips pulling the smaller body further against her own.  
"are you asking me out on a date miss fitch?" Cocking her eyebrow she grinned stuffing her face away into Emily's hair.

"Something like that .." Emily hummed sleepily.

* * *

thanks to everyone who's reading it, and leaving feedback  
im glad your enjoying it (:


	12. That I Ever Felt In A Broken Heart

okay before i attempt writing anything, i'd just like you's to know that im sorry for my lack of updates to this. things have been pretty shit recently, but i decided not to wallow in it and put some of my feelings into my writing like i usually do, so here goes (:

* * *

Propping herself up against the sink Naomi watched as her eyes darted around rapidly in the dirt coated mirror, cracks decorating the sides. She stared at her reflection, taking in the empty expression masking her face. Taking a deep breath she felt the way her breath hitched in her throat as it's pace incressed while her her chest began to feel tight. Her slender fingers curled tightly around the porcelain bowl, her slightly bruised knuckels turning an unfamiliar shade of white from the pressure. She wondered if she gripped it tight enough, would it crack. Crack like the walls she no longer had to protect her. Because like veneer, she'd had the perfect shield to cover the imperfect. Dipping her head she tore her eyes off the unfamilar reflection staring back at her, one hand freeing the sink as she twisted the tap of the sink with a fluent motion of her wrist. The water trickled out slowly before a stream of clear liquid began to encircle the bowl, slipping quickly down the drain. Cupping her hands together she slid them under the running tap, gathering a handful before splashing the ice cold water over her warm, sweat coated face. Inhaling a sharp breath from the shock, she twisted the tap again turning it off before her hands took up the position on each side of the bowl again, grasping it firmly between her palms and fingers lifting her eyes to stare at the reflection again. The dark eye makeup surrounding her wide blue eyes had smudged and created a dark trail down the creamy white skin of her cheeks. Imperfection at it's best she thought.

They'd gone out on their date. Last week. Emily had booked them into some fancy restraunt, they'd devoured their meals in no time, the second bottle of wine following shortly after their main course. It was perfect. After making an undteady departure from the restraunt Emily had recieved a phonecall from Katie informing her of some party they were all at. The whole gang, Cook, Pandora, JJ even Effy. Naomi was thrilled upon hearing that. Effy hadn't been out much since Freddie's anniversary, so it was good to hear she was out spending time with her friends again. Perfect Naomi thought. What she wasn't informed of was that Katie's best friend was there. Katie's best friend Elliot, who had been trying to get into Emily's pants since he'd met her. Elliot who was tall, dark, handsome, charming and could flirt his way into bed with anyone. Elliot who bought Emily drinks, asked her to dance. While Naomi sat back and watched as he ran his hands over Emily's toned stomach, down over her arse, up into her shiny brown hair then finally set up camp around her waist, tugging her close to him while his lips mashed themselves against hers. Elliot who earned a broken noes, curtesty of Naomi's fist. She could of sworn she'd have killed him if she hadn't been dragged out kicking and screaming by Cook, Thomas and JJ. Emily tried to follow, her body swaying from the amount of alcohol flowing through it. But Effy stopped her, her dark blue eyes narrowing as she shook her head. Turns out, it wasn't perfect at all.

"Y'alright love?" a voice piped up from behind her, snapping her from her train of thoughts. Naomi lifted her eyes to see one of the bar tenders standing behind her, offering a warm smile. Forcing a small smile onto her lips she pushed back off the sink brushing her tousled white blonde curls off her face as headed over towards the toilet door " fine" she breathed before heading out of the toilet.

The warmth radiating from all the bodies in the club hit her like a heat wave, she could literally feel the sweat building up on her forehead within seconds. Slipping into the crowd she dipped her head back staring up at the lights, flashing, blinking. Greens, reds, blues. Her stare was fixated on them, it was mesmerizing. The music soon found it's way through her body, seeping through her veins. Her body soon erupted into a whale of emotion, swaying, rippling, throwing itself around in a hypnotic manner. Her breathing was laboured as she struggled for more air in crowded dance floor. She felt hands grip her hips, and a soft breath tickle her throat before a warm tongue dragged it's way up the length of the long, slender crook of her neck. She didn't care much about who the owner of the hands were, the owner of the lips placing delicate kisses onto her shoulder. She was too far gone in the music, to far gone in herself. Any form of affection or human contact she'd devour in a second, without thought. Pushing herself further back into the mystery owner she felt her lips absentmidely tweek, and curl up at each side, into a sloppy smile at the feeling of firm tits now pressed into her back. At least it was a girl, thank fuck it was a girl.

She spotted her then. Emily, huddled into one of the booths with their friends. Her expression masked with confusion and pain. Naomi hadn't expected to see her, she hadn't expected to see anyone. She'd come out alone, and that's how she'd planned to spend the night. She watched as Emily attempted to come over towards her, stop the girl behind her's wandering hands which were now under her shirt, nails dragging across her exposed stomach. Naomi kept eye contact with Emily the whole time, tipping her head to the side exposing her neck to the girl behind her, feeling her lips attatch to it almost instantly, finding her pulse point. Naomi's lips parted slightly, whimpering in pleasure her eyes wandering over to see Emily slumped down in the booth, her hand gripping her drink tightly as Cook kept a firm hand on her shoulder, stopping her from interupting. It was time now, Naomi thought. Gripping the girls slender wrist she quickly tugged tugged her round, so she was standing infront of her, Naomi's eyes widened when they came in contact with the sultry, dark blue eyes of Effy.

"Don't think" Effy breathed, her warm breath tickling Naomi's lips. Naomi felt an unfamilar feeling creep up in the depth of her stomach, she couldn't quite explain it. But she did as she was told, because it was Effy, and Effy knew everything. Wrapping her arms around the slender girls waist she slowly dragged a tender finger along the exposed skin of Effy's lower back, pulling her body flush against her own. Effy's eyes fluttered down towards Naomi's lips before a playful smirk toyed at her lips. Painfully slowly, leaning forward before placing a soft kiss onto Naomi's puffy lips. She stopped thinking then. Naomi leaned forward into the kiss, deepening it instantly, one hand slipping off Effy's waist finding it's way through her dark messy hair and onto the back of her neck. Dragging her tongue along her bottom lip before taking it between her own, giving it a small tug with her teeth. She felt the arousel sweep through Effy's body as she forcefully pushed herself harder against her, her slender fingers digging into the exposed skin of Naomi's hips. Naomi eagerly slipped her tongue into Effy's mouth, exploring the the new territory of vodka and marlboro. Much different to Emily's rum and coke. Shaking the thought quickly from her head she cast her eyes momenterally over in the direction of the booth noting the absense of Emily and a grinning Cook, quick on her tail.

Breaking the kiss Naomi pursed her puffy lips tightly together, her eyes casting over Effy's apperance. Her short black dress, and her ripped up fishnets. There would always be something about Effy, something even Naomi wouldn't be able to put her finger on. But none the less, she was startlingly beautiful, there was no denying that. Feeling her lips quirk up at the sides into a thoughtful grin she slid her hands up the length of Effy's body before cupping her cheeks gently, the pads of her thumbs gingerly sliding across her soft skin. She watched as Effy's drug intoxicated eyes softened ever so slightly at the gesture, her pupils continuing to widen as they darkened the sea blue of her eyes. Lust. Naomi knew that look all to well, she didn't doubt her eyes were mirroring Effy's. Slowly prying her body out of Effy's grip, she quickly reached for her hand entwining their fingers. Feeling Effy give her hand a tight squeeze keeping her body close to Naomi's. Dragging her through the crowd, she didn't bother looking over in the direction of their friends. Couldn't deal with their looks of disaproval. Because who were they to judge her? Emily had kissed someone else, kissed someone else while Naomi was sat right there watching her. She knew what the argument would be reduced too. It would be reduced to the fact that she did it first, she did it all those years ago. That's why she never answered the phone, never replied to Emily's texts. Because it just wasn't worth the argument. An eye for an eye makes the world blind, she wondered if Emily ever thought about that.

Finally making her way to the exit, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure Effy was alright, the brunettes eyes were burning and twinkling under the street lights. A wide smile set on her thick lips, curving all the way up to match her eyes. Naomi felt her stomach flip slightly, she noted that it was the first time she'd seen Effy's smile reach her eyes. Wondered why. Glancing up and down the street she exhaled softly her eyes searching for a taxi to get them home. However the yank on her wrist told her Effy had other plans. Letting her feet trail her off in the direction Effy was leading them in, her body abruptly being yanked to the right into a little alley just a few seconds away from the club entrance. Forceful hands pushing against her shoulders forcing her back against the cold, damp brick wall. It crossed her mind just then what was happening, what she was doing. Who she was doing. But even then she couldn't find it in herself to stop it, the creases at the sides of Effy's laughing eyes ensketched in her mind.

_Don't think._Naomi's hands didn't stay idle for long. They massaged Effy's slender, bare arms, her back, her thighs. Feeling the goosebumps form under the pads of her fingertips. Reaching for the slender girls hips she pulled them flush against her own, grinding against her gently before swiftly reversing their roles, Pinning Effy between her own body, and the rough wall. Her lips attatching to her pulse point as she eased athigh between Effy's eagerly parting legs. Effy's moans vibrated through her throat that Naomi's lips were still attached too, causing the blonde to shift her thigh higher up between Effy's legs, earning a grunt in satisfaction. Effy's hands tangled themselves in Naomi's white blonde abundence of curls. Flicking her tongue over Effy's collar bone she felt her shift her leg up wrapping it around her waist, gripping her skinny thigh she tugged their hips closer together, dragging her nails along the flesh of Effy's inside thigh hearing her moan in plesure. It was a beautiful sound, Naomi thought. Finally mashing her lips against Effy's soft, pouty set she let her wandering hand snake it's way up Effy's short dress and down into the waistband of her fishnets, and finally into her underwear, her own throat parting with a moan as she quickly slipped a finger through Effy's wet folds and inside her, her wrist swiftly rocking back and forth as she pumped a second finger inside of her. The brunettes nails digging roughly into the exposed skin of Naomi's back. Tearing the skin as her slender body squirmed and trembled against the blondes as she clenched around Naomi's fingers. Her lips tearing off Naomi's as she stuffed her face into the crook of her neck, her breathing heavy and laboured while her hips rocked faster against Naomi's hand.  
"Fuck, Naomi ... Jesus... I- .. "  
Sinking her teeth into Naomi's shoulder to stop the lust enduced words slip from her lips, letting out one last moan against the blondes skin as her body trembled and she finally reached her peak under Naomi's hand.

Naomi held Effy's body close to her, keeping her fingers in place for a few extra seconds, while Effy clung to her as if her life depended on it. Naomi slowly removed her fingers before slipping them into her mouth licking them clean, Feeling Effy's shallow breath on her neck as she composed herself Naomi tenderly took her cheeks between her hands, bringing her head out of her neck so she could look her in the eye. The twinkle was still there, only now they were glazed over with unshed tears. She realised then, that this was the most vulnerable she'd ever see Effy. She had exposed herself to her, let her inside. Literally. Letting out a soft breath, Naomi gently planted her lips against the small scar on Effy's forehead, then each of her eyes, then finally her lips. Because she couldn't bring herself to kiss the tip of her nose. It wasn't Emily's.

All thoughts were burned to the ground as Effy's lips began to massage her own, her slender hand not hesitant in it's journey down her body, quickly slipping under her skirt and inside her knickers. Naomi let Effy press her body back against the wall, tilting her head back staring up at the starlit sky as Effy's fingers ventured into her underwear finally slipping inside her. Her breathing instantly hitched in her throat as Effy's fingers began pounding into her, Naomi clamped her eyes closed in pure euphoria. She let her body wriggle and rock in time with Effy's hand. Muttering and mumbling incomprehensible words under her breath.  
"Jesus... Eff" Naomi whimpered, her muscles involentry clenching around Effy's fingers, while her head tipped further back riding out her orgasm.

They continued like that for the rest of the night, Effy's hand cheekily slipped up Naomi's skirt in the taxi ride home. Naomi fucked Effy up against the wall outside their house, then again once they got inside, after they had tripped over the door mat and ended up sprawled out on the cold floor of the hallway. They finally made it into Effy's bed after round four, both of them shedding their clothes as they collapsed exaustedly into the warm, welcoming sheets. Fucking, kissing, touching, biting, scratching their way into an involuntary sleep. Naomi had fallen asleep first, curled up on her side, one of her long, tanned, slender legs peeking out from under the crisp white sheets of Effy's bed. Her blonde hair sprawled carelessly over the pillows, covering her face. Effy wondered if she did it intentionally. To hide herself at her most vulnerable. She slowly brushed it away, tracing her jawline with a ginger finger. Sinking down into the pillows she turned on the opposite side so she was facing the wall, clamping her eyes closed letting sleep take over.

It was an escape for them both. An escape from the pain and reality of life. An escape from Emily, from Freddie.

Naomi's heavy lids fluttered open, revealing her ice blue eyes. They searched around the unfamilar celing, following the patterns and childish glow in the dark stars before her attention turned to the sound of someone clearing their throat to her right. Her brow creased quickly at the noise. Propping herself up on her elbows she glanced over in the direction, using a lazy hand to rub at her hazy eyes.

"alright blondie?" Cook bellowed with a grin, slumped down in the chair at the corner of Effy's room, a fresh spliff hanging between his fingers as he admired the view.

"fucks sake cook!" Naomi spat huskily, trying to keep her voice quiet so she didn't disturb Effy's sleeping form beside her. Tugging the sheets further round her naked body her brow dropped even further, her wide eyes narrowing.

"she's fooking great in the sack is our eff, ay?" Cook smiled, attempting to keep the situation a little humerous, ensuring the mood was light.

Naomi rolled her eyes tugging the sheets tighter around her body. Casting her eyes over Effy again before back to cook.

"what the fuck are you doing in here cook?" Naomi exhaled deeply, reaching over effy grabbing a spliff off her desk before feeling a lighter land in her lap, curtosy of cook.  
Raising her gaze she gave him a slight nod as a thank-you jesture before sparking it up, taking a long thoughtful drag of it.

"i went after your missus, she's all in a tizzy after that shit wif Eff in the club blondie"  
Cook stared over at her, piercing her with his stare as he puffed away on his spliff, letting the smoke pour freely from between his lips.

"is she" Naomi breathed, stating more than questioning. Her eyes adverting to another area of the room.

"Don't fuck up a good thing if you've got it kid .. " Cook trailed off, stubbing out his spliff in the nearest ashtray before pushing to his feet, his eyes casting over Effy's sleeping form. Naomi didn't miss the small smile that formed on his lips at the sight. She kept her gaze fixated on him, watching him take a deep breath before slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans looking back at her as he finnished his sentace.

"cause once it's gone, it's pissin' gone blondie .. don't make the same mistake i did" She watched as he cast his glance over Effy again before bowing his head making a swift exit from the room, the click of the door gaining a small grunt from Effy.

_cause once it's gone, it's pissing gone blondie _

He was wrong, Effy hadn't gone anywhere. She was still here, waiting to be found again.

Naomi stared down at the burnt out spliff in her hand, silently cursing under her breath before stubbing it out in the ashtray next to the bed, leaning across she grabbed her phone off Effy's bedside table. Her eyes flickering over the bright screen.

3:18am.

12 Missed Calls.

3 Unread Message.

Naomi's thumb unconciously clicked onto it, her eyes scanning each of them.

_I love you, can't you understand that? _

_Don't fuck this up again Naomi x_

_Fucksake, i need you alright, i fucking need you! xx_

Naomi felt her heartbeat thudding in her throat, her breathing falling shallow. Letting her eyes flutter closed as she clenched the phone tightly in her hand.

"Go see her Naomi" Effy's voice purred from beside her. Naomi's eyes shot open, her head whipping to the side, to see a very awake, very naked effy scanning over her phone. That mischevious smile toying at her lips. Naomi cast her eyes over Effy's body letting a small sigh escape her lips, she was fucking breathtaking. Naomi brought her eyes up to meet Effy's knowing gaze, she was right. The right thing to do was go fix it, she had to fix this.

Crawling out of the bed, Naomi slipped on her underwear, then the outfitt she had been wearing earlier. Making her way over to the door she stopped hearing Effy's small voice.

"thankyou .. " Effy breathed. Wrapping the sheets around her frail body.

Naomi didn't need to think twice, turning on her heel she made her way back over to the bed, perching herself at the side of it, she dipped her head forward letting her lips meet Effy's in a soft loving kiss, raking her hands gently through her soft brown hair.  
"your really fucking beauiful, y'know that Eff" Naomi breathed softly against her lips. It wasn't passionate, nor lustful. But it was needed, Naomi needed to let her know.

The soft stroke of Effy's fingers trailing down Naomi's cheek let her know that Effy got it. She heard her. Loud and clear. Smiling softly, Naomi pushed up off the bed grabbing one of her old knitted jumpers that was lying in the corner of Effy's room slipping it over her head she gave Effy one last smile before making her way for the door.

Her heel free shoes allowed her to travel faster, much to her appreciation. Because it had already started raining, and the wind was whipping agressivly against her smooth bare legs. Tugging the sleves of her jumper down over her hands she wrapped them tightly around her body stopping outside Emily and Katie's house. Her eyes flicking up to the dark window of Emily's room, she wondered if she was in there. Taking a long, deep breath she padded over to the door, kicking the gate closed behind her before reaching the shelter of the doorway, her finger hesitantly hovering over the door bell. Finally pressing her finger against it she sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a good few seconds to listen intently for any form of movement coming from inside the house. Nothing.

Her brow creased instantly, taking a step back to look up at the darkened windows of the house. It seemed empty, like they hadn't been home. Sliding a shaky hand through her hair she tried again. Nothing. Maybe Emily had gone to her parent's house, maybe even to pandora's? Exhaling deeply she weighed her options, she could go home, or she could wait. Licking her dry lips she decided on the latter, sinking to the floor outside the door she huddled against the wall resting her head against it, pulling her knees close to her chest to keep as much body heat close to her as posible. She silently hated herself for forgetting her phone, and for not pulling on some tights. Shifting her gaze to the sky she stared intently for a few moments before her eyes fell heavy again, her body slumped and her eyelids drooped after a good 45 minutes, once again being whisked off into a highly uncomofortable sleep.

The warmth spread through her knees, then her hands, then finally her cheeks. Feeling herself unconciously shift closer to the warmth she grunted sleepily. Her body shaking slightly, although not on her behalf this time.

"Naomi, Naomi ... Naoms, Wake up ... Naoms" Emily's hands gently gripped Naomi's shoulders, giving her a light shake. It had just gone 9, and she'd lazily made her way back from her parents house where she'd ended up lastnight. She'd concidered heading straight over to Naomi's house, but decided she'd come home, shower and sort herself out a bit before she did anything. However, once she'd arrived home much to her own surprise, she'd found Naomi curled up in the corner of her door way, her body trembling and her lips a light shade of blue. Fuck knows how long she'd been there for, but concidering it was late november and she'd fallen asleep outside, Emily didn't take it as a good sign.

Naomi's eyes lazily fluttered open, a heavy smile on her lips.

"Jesus christ Naomi, you fucking scared me" Emily's voice panicked a little, quickly helping the blonde to her feet, thoughtfully thanking her father for making her do all those reps on the naughty bar as she was growing up, because the strength of her upper body was quite remarkable. Naomi slumped in Emily's arms, ice cold fingers gripping onto the smaller girl.

"S-sorry" Naomi breathed through her chattering teeth, watching Emily unlock the door before helping her inside. Sinking down into the sofa, she wrapped her arms around herself.

Emily quickly paced over to the fire, switching it on before heading into the kitchen grabbing a pair of Naomi's leggins and another one of her old knitted jumpers she'd left a few weeks ago. Easing herself to her knees infront of Naomi, Emily slowly helped her remove her jumper, her eyes casting over the bite mark on her shoulder quickly adverting them. Her wide brown eyes clouded with sorrow. She knew she'd fucked Effy, maybe she'd deserved it, but it was another thing seeing the marks. Quickly pulling the fresh, warm jumper over Naomi's trembling body she sighed softly in relief that it was hidden again. Helping her into the leggins before grabbing the blanket off the back of the sofa, wrapping it snug around Naomi. Her warm hands coming up to cup Naomi's cheeks, Smiling softly up at her.

"your lips are blue" Emily cooed softly, watching as Naomi tiredly slouched back into the sofa, allowing Emily to run her thumb gently across her lower lip.

"really?" Naomi breathed, slowly reaching out for Emily's hands, pulling her up onto her lap. Savouring the feeling of her body heat against her cold skin. Emily bit her own lip gently to prevent the grin forming on her lips as Naomi's arms wrapped around her waist, nodding slowly in confirmation.

"maybe you could-" Naomi began, cut off by the feeling of Emily's gentle lips placing soft, butterfly kisses against her own, finally dragging her warm tongue over Naomi's bottom lip. Before their lips connected in a long, tender kiss.

"im sorry" Naomi breathed against her lips  
"me too" Emily nodded, dipping her lips to tenderly kiss her way along Naomi's jawline, then back up onto her lips.

" i love you" Naomi wrapped her arms tighter around the smaller girl, needing to feel her close.

"i know" Emily smiled softly, resting their foreheads together, staring deeply into the deep blue eyes she lost herself in, day in, day out.

There was a difference, between Emily and Effy. With Effy, it was quick, thoughtless and rough. But with Emily, it was soft, tender, loving, she could send shivers through Naomi's entire body with the smallest touch, kiss.

The difference was love.

* * *

hope you didn't mind the twist (:  
what do you think then? Naomily or Neffy?  
reviews would be highly appreciated!


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